a certain kind of toy will have long lasting effects? It's a toy... I don't agree with the whole idea that of all the terrible things a child can go through and recover from, that not buying your kid a toy will do them immense psychological harm... @Serena, I never said anything about thinking it would have any effects at all, I simply said I would not buy the toy. I don't think it will cause him any harm, whether he plays with it or not. It was you and others who suggested that refusing the child a toy would cause psychological issues. @cartoonist, I did not thumbs you down (or anyone else), I simply did not thumbs you up. Don't be such a girl. @Serena, I was refused toys by mom because she said they were "boys toys"... It kinda upset me but I kinda got over it... The same thing happened with the boys in my family. I just don't think there are any note worthy affects from refusing them a toy for any reason... it's a toy.
Best Answer:
Rowdy MacFarlane at 14 May,2013
That plastic T. Rex dinosaur that my Mom never bought me has scarred me for life. I will never forget the emotional pain that I endured. Just sayin'.
Other Answers:
- That plastic T. Rex dinosaur that my Mom never bought me has scarred me for life. I will never forget the emotional pain that I endured.
Just sayin'. - Ask another question about disciplining children. The same people who think refusing toys to children believe punishment of any kind, as opposed to positive reinforcement, is child abuse.
And then people wonder why the kids are screaming and throwing temper tantrums in the middle of Target. Because those parents never deny them the toys they want out of fear of making them "insecure" while at the same time refusing to punish them for fear it will hamper their positive social development.
My kid doesn't throw fits in stores. And it wasn't because I offered "positive reinforcement" or gave her a toy to get her to shut up. I threatened to spank her ass and then followed through when the tantrum didn't end. Oh, and I put the toy that I was going to buy her back on the shelf.
I teach her how to do things, even if she may not want to learn at first, then tell her good job when she demonstrates she can do it. Example: tying shoes. Learning to do that is a big deal to a 5 year old. Also, making them do tasks as a family. We all do chores. We call cook together - even my 5 year old. She can mix things, like eggs to be scrambled, or pancake mix, etc. We share in the burdens of a family.
Making them feel apart of the family, teaching them how to do things independently, are how you help them feel secure and confident. Not with toys or refusing to punish them. - I wasn't allowed to play with Barbie dolls [dad believe they were too "anatomically correct"]. Look what that's done to me...? If only daddy would have let me play with Barbie!
- "I don't want children because I can't afford to buy them ipods every month"
- It depends on WHY you are refusing to buy it for them. If it's because they were throwing a tantrum, then don't buy it for them.If it's because they think they'll get whatever they want then you're right, don't buy it for them. If it's any other rational reason like the two I gave you, then you're right, you shouldn't buy it for them, it won't cause any negative effects, it'll teach them to be better humans.
But if your reason is something like,"He's a boy, he shouldn't have a Barbie", then you are definitely wrong.It'll teach them that boys aren't supposed to, that it is wrong, that they'll become less of men. They won't go through "immense psychological harm", but they'll grow up with the wrong morals.
@TD- Wow. I admire you. *Such* a rational person. I'm sure you'll be a GREAT parent. - It's called delusional parenting.
Set boundaries and don't put up with the BS and kids will grow up just fine. - Here is a better question: Why do people seem to think that letting a child play with a certain type of toy will have lasting effects?
Edit: I don't think it would if it was a casual thing. Parents aren't there to say yes to everything a child asks for. But if they are denying them a type of toy because it is meant for girls, I don't understand that at all.
Yeah, I don't think it'd have a lasting effect unless you said things like "No, that toy is for girls!" - but that is just my opinion, and my opinion shouldn't really matter to you or anyone here. Raise your children the way you see fit =^-^=! - I guess it depends on what kind of toy it is. Some people don't want their children to have Barbies, for example. They think it'll make their kid have unrealistic body expectations. Other people are against toy guns, with good reason. When I was growing up, there was actually something called "candy cigarettes." And a friend of my mother's would never let her kid have them, thinking he'd grow up wanting to smoke.
- it could only do long lasting harm if they are refused the toy in a gruff manner or in a way that is impatient, unloving and uncaring. The toy is a treasure to their little minds, and represents a lot more than you might think. Children are at a certain point in life, whereas adults are lost in the stratosphere sometimes, totally disconnected to the little joys of life.
Toys are good, fun is good. Anger or meanness is a terrible thing in a parent, no matter the situation. - I am scarred because i never had one of those power wheels when i grew up. Always wanted the hot pink jeep. So now that i am grown i baught a pink quad 500 cc. Which is alot of power for a 110 pound woman. My boyfriend wanted me to get the 700, but i guess it does not understand the 140 pound weight difference we have.
- The problem is if you make him feel ashamed for wanting it or playing with it. If you just say no like it was any other toy then no problem and nothing will come of it but if you make it about being a girls toy then it can become an issue because he could feel ashamed for wanting and might think something is wrong with him. This is all just based on personal experience from teasing I got as kid for being a tomboy. My parents never cared which toys I played with so it I never paid the teasing much mind but I don't know maybe it would have been different if they made me feel bad about it too.
- By providing the right kind of toys and experiential environment, children can grow to do amazing things.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0HT-7xttds
@Rowdy: Here is your T-Rex:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19IqwU3itFk
Bang a gong!